i'm still alive.

The last 2 & a half months have been crazy. Summer school, moving, custody battles, mom, girlfriend, etc. Everything has been keeping me pretty preoccupied. Being preoccupied from the scale wasn't too bad mentally, but horribly physically. I can't be the only one who lays in bed at night saying: "Tomorrow, I'm going to snack on fruits/veggies. I'm going to eat one salad a day, and only one meal with bread. I'll drink at least 64oz of water. I will work up a sweat somehow." But...then tomorrow comes. So repeat the previous night's thought patterns at the end of tomorrow's day and you have my current pattern since April 28th (my half marathon). Then comes the scale. I have been avoiding it. Somehow seeing numbers on top of feeling fat is just ten times worse than just wondering if you're getting fat. I don't care if my clothes are getting less flattering (ok, actually I do) but when I see a higher number on the scale, I'm like...shiz, look what I did. So, ladies & gents, in the past 2 & a half months of doing NOTHING [physically] I have officially put on 8 lbs. Ocho. Acht. 8. Ugh. And yes, the beach vacation over labor day is still happening. Why is it so hard to get back on eating rabbit food and less processed food when you've fallen off the health wagon so hard? Somehow I've gotta get back into a lifestyle mindset, not a diet. Until then, time to go for a run. It's 6:10pm in central TN and I'm going to go run some hills in 90 degree weather. I feel like I deserve some punishment in the heat after the last 8+ weeks of bad behavior. Ha. I'll be lucky if I get 1 mile in at this point.

I'll try to get back to ya'll & let you known if I feel reborn after this....